I saw this quote on Pinterest and immediately understood it at a very deep level. I was one of those people (there are many out there) who gave away my power. I also took back my power. I know it’s possible for you too. So today I want to bring awareness to what this means.
Taking back your power only happens once you realize that you’re giving it away.
Below is a list of ways one can be giving away their power without even knowing it. The more of these you relate to, the more power you’re giving away. Read the following list and see how you do. Even if you say “sometimes” that’s still giving away your power!
1. You give into guilt trips or allow people to get what they want by pulling at your heart strings.
2. Your self worth depends on other’s opinions of you.
3. You have trouble setting boundaries.
4. You complain about all the things you have to do. (It means you can’t say no and are doing too much for everyone else).
5. You hold grudges. (When we do things out of obligation or duty instead of from the heart, resentment eventually sets in).
6. You change your goals based on other people’s opinions.
7. You’re hypersensitive to criticism.
8. Other people have the ability to bring out the worst in you. (They don’t really hit you’re allowing them to).
9. You spend time talking about people you don’t like. (Resentment kicking in again).
10. Other people determine the kind of day you’re going to have.
You can read this article by Forbes which is also the source of the list.
If you related to a lot of those statements don’t fret. It happens to the best of us. I’m a nurse. Nurses are givers. So are teachers, moms, dads, counselors and some people in every profession. Givers are everywhere. So are takers.
Taking your power back once you’ve been giving it away is simple but not easy. If you’re in the habit of giving in to people, they will be used to taking.
It’s going to take some effort on your part to recognize when you need to say no. You need start doing less for everybody else and more for yourself. You’ll need to be prepared for pushback from people who are used to taking more from you.
See, it really is true that we teach people how to treat us.
If this relates to you, maybe you can evaluate who the takers are in your life and in what situations you’re allowing others to affect your self confidence and self worth.
Write down all the ways you related to any of the statements above. Then be prepared with a “no” answer when they come up again.
It would be good to dig deep and find out why you have trouble saying no. This is called introspection and is a very important part of self awareness and self care. No one is to blame here. When we know better we do better. Just recognize the situations and make positive changes. The people you know will get used to it.
If you have trouble saying no, just start practicing! It will get easier.
In what ways do you give away your power?
How would your life be different if you had more confidence and realized your worth?
Would saying no make you feel guilty? If so, why?
Remember that even if you learned things from your parents or care givers, you are an adult now who can and should make decisions based on what is for your highest good.
Thank you for reading.
May you be happy and well.