Here’s some advice I would have given to my younger self if I could have. Maybe some young person will read this and be able to take it!
No regrets here. I think we all have to go through some trials in order to become the best version of ourselves. Trials teach us empathy for others. Trials teach us how strong we are. Trials teach hope and perseverance.
It’s not that I wish I had learned things sooner because we all have to learn things in our own time. I’m just using this format to reflect on things I did learn and what I went through to learn them in hopes that someone else who might need to read this does and that it could ease their life a little bit. I’m so very grateful for all of my lessons because they brought me to the place I am today.
1. Your parents are only people. They never promised you that they had all the answers or would never make mistakes. They are doing the best they can with the knowledge and experience they have. Forgive them for mistakes. One day, when you’re a mom, you will hope and pray that your child will forgive you for yours as well.
2. Truly, do not fret about what other people think. Learn this lesson early or it will eat you up inside and cause all kinds of unnecessary sadness, stress and anxiety throughout your life. It’s a lot harder to undo negative thought patterns than it is to prevent them.
3. Don’t waste a single day worrying. The present moment is your life. The so-called future that you seek to bring you happiness will never come. It is only your relationship to the present moment that matters. Unless you realize this, almost all of your unhappiness will come from how you conceptualize what is happing around you, not what is actually happening. Being at peace with the present moment is a way of living, just like stressing out and running around like a chicken with your head cut off is a way of living or being deeply depressed is a way of living. Choose wisely. This moment is your life, not tomorrow or five years from now. It has always been and will always be this moment.
4. Our days our numbered. Our parents days are numbered. Our sibling’s days are numbered. Our friends days are numbered. Your husband’s days will numbered. Even your child’s days will be numbered. Cherish the people you love. Tell them you love them. Better yet, show them you love them. Don’t be angry for too long. Be patient with others. They are doing the best they can.
5. I know your heart. It’s going to hurt…a lot. Just know this: life isn’t fair even for good people. Keep being good. Just remember advice number two. That will help. Also, know that it’s ok for your heart to feel for others but don’t turn into your pain. One day, when you become a nurse you will need to learn early on that bad things happen to good people all the time. Sometimes people will suffer seemingly unnecessarily. Don’t beat yourself asking why. You will never find the answer to that question. Just acknowledge your feelings then let them go. Don’t hold onto the pain. Your mind needs rest. If you don’t, you will make yourself sick over it.
6. Exercise! I know you hate it but it would be good to incorporate it into your life while you are young and have the energy. If you don’t, you will gain weight. As you get older it becomes a lot harder to lose it. Just keep it under control. And stay away from sugar like it’s the devil or it will become your poison.
7. This is a good life. You’re going to be blessed with so many wonderfully good times. Everything is going to work out. One day you will have learned the lessons above. You’re going to be married to a man who loves you unconditionally. Be nice to him. Together you’ll raise a beautiful son. You’ll get to watch him grow into adulthood, become successful and find the love of his life. And he’ll still love his mama even when he’s grown!
One day you will realize that the littlest things done with love were really the biggest and that we are all connected on this planet. We are all living and breathing under the same stars. Each of us doing the best we can. We can help each other or hurt each other. The choice is ours.
You will choose to help and that will be your life.
I love you, Me